7 years, are you itchy yet?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY LOVE!!!

Seven years of marital bliss... can you believe it? About six months ago a very well-meaning friend warned me about turbulent waters ahead as we entered our "seven-year itch." It paniced me. I am a less than stellar wife... plenty of reasons for you to get itchy. But I realized, I don't think we'll ever have the itch. The same well-meaning friend warned us about the "newlywed period" wearing off just after we got married. I can only speak for myself, but I still feel like a newlywed. My stomach still does flip-flops when I catching you looking at me from under the brim of your baseball hat. I still get unreasonably excited when I haven't seen you all day. And I still feel desperate when you leave, be it a business trip or a trip to the gym. To steal from ABBA, you're my vice and everything is you!


My Senior Prom

















At your Prep-school graduation

















At an Air Force football prefunk















Checking under the hood... usually that happens BEFORE you buy the goods.














If it's possible, I love you even more now than on that day!

"Oh that we might always see such spirit through the year..."

This Christmas was the best Christmas to date. Let me tell you why... we practiced what we preached. This year Josh and I committed to relish the season by serving others. We agreed to go light on the gift giving amongst our well-cared-for family and instead use our money to help others. I focused on giving of not just my sustenance but of my time and talents as well. This meant swallowing my pride/fear and singing for the Christmas Eve Devotional. This meant braving HOT TOPIC to find the perfect "Twilight" tee-shirt for my Excelsior girl. This meant that even with all that I gave to serve my Heavenly Father the scales are still tipped. You see our Savior, Jesus Christ, gave us the ultimate gift. To show my appreciation I live to serve, a small way to try and balance the scales. But there's a problem, service doesn't balance the scales, not really, because the overwhelming feeling I got as I gave freely is so all-encompassing and amazing that I am once again indebted to my Heavenly Father. Giving is so selfish!

"The new old-fashioned way..."

Someone please explain to me what this means? I seriously want to know.

Mr. Saunders turns 30

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... 30 reasons I am grateful you were born!


1. You know the difference between there, their and they're.
2. You hate video games.
3. You come up with the best analogies to explain difficult subjects.
4. You can eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies (5 dozen) all by yourself.
5. Your dad's a gourmet chef and you still think my chocolate cake is the best thing you've ever eaten.
6. You love Christmas with a childlike exuberance.
7. You are an All-American lacrosse player.
8. You are getting hotter with age.
9. You think the perfect night out involves a trip to Home Depot.
10. You are the best big brother and love your siblings with all your heart.
11. You are so competitive which makes you great at everything you do.
12. You love HGTV and aren't embarassed to admit it.
13. You endure your job so that I can stay home.
14. You make the best malts.
15. You genuinely like talk radio.
16. Your dad voice brings immediate peace and quiet in a way my voice can't.
17. You have the sexiest singing voice, like Bing Crosby.
18. You understand me so completely that I feel like the best version of myself when we're together.
19. You have to finish a movie even if you've seen it 100 times.
20. You love my mom as much as I love my mom.
21. You go to the gym every morning (usually) because you really believe your body is a temple. (Which it is and I love to worship it!)
22. You watch reruns of "The Office" and laugh as though you've never seen it before
23. You have an opinion on home decor and fashion.
24. You look hot in hats.
25. You value integrity above all else.
26. You love our boys, even though they're mommas boys, and are giving them the best example of the type of man they should aspire to be.
27. You love our country and cherish freedom.
28. You made me a mother and think I am the best even though I am pretty sure I'm the worst.
29. You made me a wife and think I am the hottest... and I agree.
30. You love our Lord and Savior with such a fervor, as evidenced by everything you do.

It isn't fair to the world the amount of happiness you bring me. I can't imagine my life without you and do not wish to even fathom the thought. One post is not adequate to express how amazing you are but our friends don't want to read much more than that. Happy Birthday my love.

The new hope...

Josh captured this picture of Cole as we drove across New Mexico into Arizona. We had pulled off the road to nurse Cash and to give the boys a much needed chance to stretch.

Sunsets/sunrises give me such hope. Combine that with the confidence in Cole's eyes and I feel uplifted!

To my son...

You turned one month old in a hush only snowfall can create. I don't know why I am feeling so sentimental. Probably a mix of post-partum, Christmas and the crushing reality that this is the last time I will be the mother of a newborn. As I hold you, your head resting against my heart, I don't feel a sense of maternal serenity or ethereal calm. Instead, I feel panicked at the thought of losing you. Losing you to adulthood. You see, everyday that I get to know you is another day you move closer to manhood. How ironic that the more you become YOU the less you become mine. At what point does a boy or man stop needing his mommy? I still need my mom but is that a female bond strengthened by the shared experiences of motherhood? I always knew I would raise boys. But in raising only boys I think I miss out on a certain amount of softness or sentimentality. That is not to say boys aren't as sweet as girls, only that boys are expected to be firmer. We are breeeding warriors. I like being the mother of soldiers but does that mean in your bravery you won't need me later?

Raising children, you'll find, is about relinquishing control. Which is of course very hard for me. Not at first... in the beginning it's about setting boundaries, rules and routine. But sooner than you think it becomes letting your child fall down so he can learn to pick himself up again. I can't bear the thought of letting you fall or fail or not get your way. I look into your bright eyes and I see all the hope and possibilities stretched out for you. But is it ok if today I hold you as if there is nothing and nonone you need as much as me? You are so perfect and pure just like the untouched snow that has marked your one-month birthday.

Pre-Cash photo shoot

Our best friend, Damon, is a gifted photographer. I don't like to be photographed but Damon is so brilliant at capturing the emotion and essence of his subjects that I look forward to seeing him. We are lucky he is willing to use his talents on our motley crew. Damon came out from WA to catch the Denver/Miami game and took this series of pictures just days before Cash was born. I love them because for one brief moment my family is clean, behaved and quiet!

POLL

Josh and I recently debated this topic last night... which was a bigger change... going from 1 to 2 kids or going from 2 to 3 kids? Or is there another answer we haven't considered? Talk amongst yourselves then let me know!

The perfect night in.

So, I don't know how to tell this story without sounding braggy. Perhaps I should keep it to myself but here's the thing... I am not good at expressing myself in person and if I don't write it down he won't know how amazing he makes me feel. So either bear with me or don't read on. What I mean is that it is hard for me to show how happy/sad I am, probably because of pride. Whatever the reason this means that I have a hard time showing how much I love my husband to my husband. When he comes home from a business trip I am so excited to see him. I count down the seconds till he is home and when he walks through the door I am bubbling inside with joy. I am not, however, effusive and though I want to run and jump into his arms (which would make him so happy) I can barely manage more than a smile. What is wrong with me? Probably a lot. I am not good at expressing my feelings in person, I am however good at expressing them in writing.

We got home later than expected from our trip to AZ. We avoided the 5 hour delays on I-25 between Colorado Springs and Denver by taking Highway 83 (Parker Rd) all the way up. Nevertheless it still put us into Denver later than we expected. You can imagine after two days of traveling in the car with three crazy boys, how hungry I was to be away from them. I know that's harsh but Cole teased Finn 90 percent of the car ride and Finn's response was to scream in this high-pitched girly voice.

We got the topper unloaded, the trash out and the walks shoveled and then we put the kids into bed. Then Josh and I headed to bed where we watched "Hancock" on his computer and enjoyed sushi (which I can't get enough of since I am no longer preggers). Then Josh turned to me and said, "I want you to know how much I appreciate what you went through to bring our children into this world. Not just the labor and delivery but the months of barfing. I wanted you to know how much you mean to me so I got you something." He then pulled out a small brown and green box. Inside was the most gorgeous diamond ring. The man who HATES jewelery and everything it stands for bought me 2-carats woth of pave diamonds in the most unique and beautiful setting. And he did it just because. The ring is awesome and something I could never buy myself. I feel so glamorous doing anything and everything. I went to Walmart in it, pumped gas in it and even changed diapers in it.

I really don't know what I did/do to deserve a man like Josh. He's not perfect but he tries to be. I love my life with him and will endeavor to show him that more often.